Sunday, April 25, 2010

To Whom It May Concern

If you subscribe to any certain religion, or wholeheartedly devote yourself to a certain faith, I commend you. I don't' respect you, but I commend you. I commend you for choosing one outlook on life (most likely the one with which your parents reared you) and sticking with it while the rest of the world throws alternative options in your face on a daily basis. I commend you for not doubting your faith, and holding true to your convictions of an overall balance of good and evil. It is almost inhuman to not question your surroundings and the idea of an afterlife, but you have succeeded in suppressing human nature with theology. For this, I commend you. It is no minor feat.

If you happen to be one of the above mentioned religious individuals and you promote brotherhood, compassion, open mindedness, tolerance and equality, then I thank you. I thank you for standing up for the betterment of society when the rest of the religious community wants to judge, condemn, bitch, moan and fight with everyone who disagrees with their fundamental outlook.

However, if you are religious and think your religion is better than every other religion on the planet, or if you think your specific prophet held the one and only way to those roads paved with gold, well, to you I say fuck off.

Fuck off you intolerant, murdering, hypocritical, lying, primitive Muslims. Threatening people with their lives in order to force them to uphold your beliefs is exactly what Mohammad wanted, I'm sure. Which Surra states killing babies and innocent people because they don't share your beliefs is okay? Which Surra states the importance of converting everyone on the face of the planet? How pretentious. Get a fucking life and finally join the rest of the world in the post-barbaric age of heyletsallgetalong.



And to the Buddhists who think all the answers of the world can be answered by OM-OMMMMing and sitting under willow trees for hours at a time while pondering the meaning of bird: fuck off. Life is a bit more complex than that, and sometimes a green bean is just a green bean. I mean, yeah, your philosophy is super cool and I love the coy fish, but don't down play the complexity of life by reducing our consciousness to fluffy clouds.



And to the Christians who drive around with bumper stickers that say things like "Eternity is a long time to be wrong" and "real men love Jesus":fuck off. Jesus would hate bumper stickers and billboards and corny t-shirts and the concept of using fear of an eternity in hell as the sole method of converting people to Christianity. And fuck off to you if you think the world was created in six 24 hour periods between 6,000 and 10,000 years ago. Jesus wanted you to have faith, not ignore science and become an idiot in his name. For those of you who use the bible as a political weapon:fuck off. The Gospel means "good news," not "give me separation of church and state and make this country a Christian theocracy so we can forever battle the evil, blasphemous Muslims." Fuck off to the Mormons (hey, they're kind of Christian) for having their giant, gaudy temples closed to the public. What better way to spread the word than by closing everyone out and then pounding on their doors with tracts and bicycle helmets to drag them in.



For all the hypocrisy, fundamentalism, simplifying, stupefying, judging, hating, killing, and fakery religion brings to our world, you would think people would start opening their eyes and brains. After all, religion is supposed to help us by promoting love through the works of teachers of yore and through a love of God and the betterment of the world. Religion isn't a competition. If you think it is, and you think you are on the winning side, and you think you have it all figured out and that you are on the path to "heaven" and everyone else is doomed, to you I say, with all the bravado, arrogance and cockiness my lack of religion affords me: fuck off.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Dumpster diving

I've been doing some research on the little-known art of dumpster diving. I stumbled across dumpsterworld.com and found this very informative Q&A. I'm intrigued and considering it for myself. Free is free, right? No one has to know it came from a dumpster.



Q: I don’t understand why people want to take things from the trash. You must not be homeless, because you own computers. Why do you dumpster dive?

Most people don’t understand how many useful resources are thrown in the garbage every day. Dumpster diving provides us with all kinds of free goods. Not only do we have homes and computers, some of us have homes full of stuff like COMPUTERS FROM DUMPSTERS. I bet you would take a free computer, if you had the chance.

We don’t dumpster dive because we’re desperate, but because it’s a smart choice. Some of our reasons include:
- Saving and making more money
- Having more freedom by being less dependent on money
- Helping other people by sharing what we find
- Reducing waste to help the environment
- Because treasure hunting is fun.

Q: Those sound like good reasons, but I’m not convinced. Doesn’t everyone have a good reason to throw something in the garbage? Why would it be there unless it’s worthless?

There’s many reasons that perfectly good things go in the garbage. One of the biggest reasons is business practice. Remember that businesses are there to make profit. Goods that are overproduced, don’t sell, need repair, or take too much space and maintainence, are unprofitable to keep. It can also be unprofitable to sell them below cost or give them away free, so they go to waste. Wasting goods helps retailers profit if people might otherwise pay for new ones, and producers profit when more get made.

Waste is a regular result of doing business. Consider how the government props up agriculture and stops it from having a depression, in years when the grain market is saturated. It buys excess grain from farmers, takes it off the market, and lets it rot in warehouses. Farmers still get paid for it, and then they can sell their regular supply without the price dropping below cost. In our system, competing suppliers are always producing more stuff than they can sell, and the excess goes to waste.

Business policies enforce waste. Department stores toss products for cosmetic damage or an open package. Offices toss equipment when they upgrade. A college might toss last year’s furniture for new, because it has to spend money so next year’s budget doesn’t drop. Groceries toss sealed containers of food when it expires. Expiration dates are planned for selling, keeping in mind that a consumer will have days or weeks more for use of the goods.

Relative worth is another reason why good things go in the trash. Wants, needs, and usability change between people. John Moneybags dumps his sofa because it doesn’t match the wallpaper, Jane Englishmajor trashes a pile of books because they’re too bulky to carry home for the summer, and Joe Bluecollar throws out his TV because he doesn’t have time to fix a bad wire.

Q: I’m almost convinced this might be a good idea, but don’t you have to DIVE into a dumpster to get things? Isn’t that dirty and dangerous and not worth the risk?

Common sense makes it pretty safe. When garbage is left over from stuff you can keep around your house, you know how to deal with it. It might smell or look bad, but if it’s emptied daily, it might not even be unpleasant. Proper handling will protect you, and washing will fix anything you decide is worth keeping.

The more adventurous you are, the more good stuff you will find. Some people just go “curb shopping” for things left by the road on trash day. Others only take from the dumpster that has nothing but books in easy reach and clean cardboard. Then there’s miners who put on old clothes and dive right in for the buried treasure.

Q: What about eating it? Won’t you get sick?

Common sense still rules. People who eat it every day have reported more sickness from restaurant food than dumpster food. Food that’s in an airtight container inside a plastic bag never touches garbage. Some produce with a skin can. Contamination won’t be a worry. Spoilage can be, (but keep in mind that expiration is for selling, not use.) Food freshness is easy to test by smell and taste, although raw eggs and meat can be dangerous and many people avoid them altogether. Even spoiled food isn’t neccesarily bad: old bananas and sour milk are useful for baking, and mold can be scraped off cheese.

Q: Isn’t it embarrassing?

You don’t have to tell your friends where your new TV came from, but you will want to, for all the reasons that dumpster diving is a smart choice. For everyone who considers it socially unacceptable, their ignorance helps you every time they throw out good stuff. Be embarrassed all the way to the bank.

Q: Isn't it unethical?

In many places, garbage is public domain, and it should be everywhere. Garbage wastes public space, pollutes the environment, and costs everybody money to dispose of and clean up. It's unethical for someone to guard garbage they don't want as private property, for no reason besides greed, when everyone pays the costs. Recycling reverses those costs and creates value where there was none before, helping the environment and the economy.

For another opinion, a Christian says: "There are references in the bible to gleaning".

Leviticus 19:10 And thou shalt not glean thy vineyard, neither shalt thou gather [every] grape of thy vineyard; thou shalt leave them for the poor and stranger: I [am] the LORD your God.

Deuteronomy 24:19 When thou cuttest down thine harvest in thy field, and hast forgot a sheaf in the field, thou shalt not go again to fetch it: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow: that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all the work of thine hands.

"Even in nature, there is purposeful waste. Anyone who ever owned a pet bird knows that. Nature even provides built-in cleaner-uppers, like the buzzard. Evidently this was part of God's intent, and I think anyone who thwarts it is evil, and God will not bless them."

An Anarchist says: "The saying 'property is theft' applies almost perfectly to the case of guarded garbage. (When a dumpster is locked)... I think it's unethical to use a key. I think you are morally obligated to break the lock off."

Q: I’m tempted to try it. What do I need?

- Flashlight, gloves (waterproof rubber if possible), and pocket knife or boxcutter. Slash those bags, but watch for surprises!
- Old clothes in neutral style to avoid attention, and thick boots to avoid glass if you’re reckless.
- A huge backpack and other sacks can carry your finds.
- Dive stick (broom handle with a nail in it), and perhaps a ladder for tall dumpsters, can sometimes help reach things.
- A vehicle can handle big hauls, but it can attract attention, and be hard to use for backlots and alleys where the dumpsters are. A bike is more maneuverable and less conspicuous. If you drive, make sure your papers and vehicle are in order so there’s no excuse for cops to pick on you.
- Map marked with likely places, which you can look up in the phone book.
- A friend can help carry and share your finds.

Q: When and where should I go?

Most people go at night, when businesses close and people are sleeping, but this can look suspicious, so some people go in the day. The times for good finds are unpredictable until you get to know your area, but you might find the best stuff right when the last trash is dumped at the end of the night, especially food. End of the month at apartments can be good, and end of semester at colleges is incredible.

Seasonal diving also has pros and cons. Warm summer nights are great for diving, but heat ruins some food, and there can be more unwanted company. In winter, ice ruins other goods, and snowed-in dumpsters are useless, but the ice cream is delicious.

Places to visit:

- Groceries
- Food wholesale and distribution
- Warehouses
- Large institutions
- Bookstores
- Thrift stores
- Dollar stores
- Department stores
- Pharmacies
- Office supply stores
- Office complexes
- Apartment complexes
- Computer chains
- Local independent computer stores
- Furniture stores
- Hardware stores and tool warehouses
- Places going out of business

Places not recommended to visit:

- Hospitals and medical practices
- Meat handlers
- Restaurants have the stinkiest dumpsters of all, so beware. However, “hot rack” food that’s just been discarded can be worth looking for, and large amounts of bread have sometimes been found.
- Compactors should always be avoided- they are dangerous and useless to try to get in.

Q: Can I get in trouble for this?

If a town has a specific ordinance against it, you can get a fine, but that’s a rare exception. If a place has special security, you might get in trouble for trespassing. Don’t worry if there’s no warning signs or fences. Business managers might get mad if they see you, although some leave stuff outside the dumpster for you. Information security can also worry people. Besides those cases, dumpster diving is at worst a grey area and at best perfectly legal. Most people don’t even know it exists.

If you get seen by average people, they usually act like you’re invisible. If you get caught by cops, some will ignore it, or even consider it helpful, because dumpster divers have found stolen purses and uncovered crimes. Other cops might look for an excuse to pick on you, such as vehicle violations. To deal with that, know your rights: you have to show papers if you’re driving, but otherwise you don’t have to show ID and you only have to tell your name. You don’t have to answer any questions at all, but it pays to be nice. Don’t admit you’re a regular diver. The best excuse is “looking for boxes.”

If dumpster diving is a risk at all, it's probably still a risk worth taking, because the worst trouble you can get into is nothing compared to the benefits.

Q: Taking things from the garbage sounds ethical and I don't think it should be forbidden. Is there any special way I can get around security?

If you’re bold, ignore security cams, especially when a place is closed. It's expensive to pay someone to watch a dumpster, and usually they only have cameras to get a record in case of robbery. Sometimes they even use dummy cams just to scare potential criminals. You’re not a criminal, so don’t worry.

People who are against greedy business policies have recommended cutting locks with large clippers or carrying a tube of superglue to wreck them. Locked dumpsters have been discovered to have one key that works through an entire city trash route, for efficiency, but you will have to be creative to get it.

Fences and warning signs are not good to ignore. However, if you ever get confronted by private security, run. They aren’t cops and you don’t have to obey them.

Q: What should I do with the stuff I find?

Flea Markets and Ebay are great for selling. Places that take trade-in on used goods are worth checking. Some raw materials and special goods like printer cartridges can be recycled for money.

Large amounts of goods can be too much for one person, especially food and furnishings. You can support a whole group of people for free with your diving finds.

For more info, check out these books:

“The Art and Science of Dumspter Diving” by John Hoffman, available from Loompanics books.
“Evasion”, a novel, available from CrimeThinc.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Inmate-made Tetris wallet



I love Tetris. I love money. Ergo, I love my Tetris wallet. I had an inmate at Iowa State Penitentiary make it for me. He only charged me twenty dollars, too. I love my life.

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