To Whom It May Concern

If you subscribe to any certain religion, or wholeheartedly devote yourself to a certain faith, I commend you. I don't' respect you, but I commend you. I commend you for choosing one outlook on life (most likely the one with which your parents reared you) and sticking with it while the rest of the world throws alternative options in your face on a daily basis. I commend you for not doubting your faith, and holding true to your convictions of an overall balance of good and evil. It is almost inhuman to not question your surroundings and the idea of an afterlife, but you have succeeded in suppressing human nature with theology. For this, I commend you. It is no minor feat.

If you happen to be one of the above mentioned religious individuals and you promote brotherhood, compassion, open mindedness, tolerance and equality, then I thank you. I thank you for standing up for the betterment of society when the rest of the religious community wants to judge, condemn, bitch, moan and fight with everyone who disagrees with their fundamental outlook.

However, if you are religious and think your religion is better than every other religion on the planet, or if you think your specific prophet held the one and only way to those roads paved with gold, well, to you I say fuck off.

Fuck off you intolerant, murdering, hypocritical, lying, primitive Muslims. Threatening people with their lives in order to force them to uphold your beliefs is exactly what Mohammad wanted, I'm sure. Which Surra states killing babies and innocent people because they don't share your beliefs is okay? Which Surra states the importance of converting everyone on the face of the planet? How pretentious. Get a fucking life and finally join the rest of the world in the post-barbaric age of heyletsallgetalong.



And to the Buddhists who think all the answers of the world can be answered by OM-OMMMMing and sitting under willow trees for hours at a time while pondering the meaning of bird: fuck off. Life is a bit more complex than that, and sometimes a green bean is just a green bean. I mean, yeah, your philosophy is super cool and I love the coy fish, but don't down play the complexity of life by reducing our consciousness to fluffy clouds.



And to the Christians who drive around with bumper stickers that say things like "Eternity is a long time to be wrong" and "real men love Jesus":fuck off. Jesus would hate bumper stickers and billboards and corny t-shirts and the concept of using fear of an eternity in hell as the sole method of converting people to Christianity. And fuck off to you if you think the world was created in six 24 hour periods between 6,000 and 10,000 years ago. Jesus wanted you to have faith, not ignore science and become an idiot in his name. For those of you who use the bible as a political weapon:fuck off. The Gospel means "good news," not "give me separation of church and state and make this country a Christian theocracy so we can forever battle the evil, blasphemous Muslims." Fuck off to the Mormons (hey, they're kind of Christian) for having their giant, gaudy temples closed to the public. What better way to spread the word than by closing everyone out and then pounding on their doors with tracts and bicycle helmets to drag them in.



For all the hypocrisy, fundamentalism, simplifying, stupefying, judging, hating, killing, and fakery religion brings to our world, you would think people would start opening their eyes and brains. After all, religion is supposed to help us by promoting love through the works of teachers of yore and through a love of God and the betterment of the world. Religion isn't a competition. If you think it is, and you think you are on the winning side, and you think you have it all figured out and that you are on the path to "heaven" and everyone else is doomed, to you I say, with all the bravado, arrogance and cockiness my lack of religion affords me: fuck off.