The Hoff is a bit off

If you liked David Hasselhoff before this video, you'll really like him after it. Kudos if you can make it through the whole thing.

If you are a sucker for information in visual form like I am, go here. It's called informationisbeautiful.net and it's filled with ubersweet graphs, interactive displays and more info than you can point a laser pointer at. Check it out.

The Easy way to stay Green

I love reading extreme, religious literature. Not just the old testament or those little thumbnail comic books you find in the bathrooms at truck stops or that wacky book o' Mormon either. I mean the fire-and-brimstone-hurling, Revelations-interpreting, baby-Jesus-speaking (seriously, it's in the Koran)stone-your-daughter-to-death-if-she's-not-a-virgin type of religious literature. You know, the kind of stuff that when you read it, you momentarily denounce religion and the western concept of God until you realize that would make you a blasphemer and you get scared of going to hell and immediately repent.
Take, for example, the article in the Jehovah's Witness magazine called The Watchtower which I stole from the hospital waiting room earlier today. The title was "Will the Earth Come to an End?"
After a brief intro discussing America's infatuation with the end of the world, it goes on to list discussion points in an attempt to hypothesize at how God really thinks.
The most intriguing and somewhat baffling point is Does our Planet have an expiration date?
The mysterious, unnamed author uses Ecclesiastes 1:4 to explain. "Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever." and Psalm 104:5 which prophetically reads " God founded the earth upon established places and designed it to last to time indefinite, or forever."
So wait, all that talk about the sun incinerating our planet in 7.5 billion years is a hoax? Whoo hoo! Mother earth aint got nothin' to worry about! Let yer hair down mamma!



Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone. What about all this crazy talk about global warming? Does The Watchtower have anything to say about that one?

Ha. Does Miley Cyrus need orthodontic attention and a boob job? Of course it does. It states that there is no way irresponsible humans could spoil the planet beyond recovery because unlike humans, Jehovah is able to do all things and can confidently guarantee that nothing can stop him from carrying out his purpose for the earth. Oh, and it says God made earth specifically to be inhabited (Isaiah 45:18), and since God doesn't make mistakes, that means he made an indestructible earth that can't be harmed by the very creatures he created to inhabit it, right?



Right!Under the bullet point titled Turn to God and Be Saved it says God's good news for us in Matthew 24:14 is his unfailing word that our earth will never come to an end. And it also says that soon, only the righteous will possess the earth and they will find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.

Yes! Earth's existence is infinite, and only the righteous will be allowed to live here in delight and an infinite amount of peace. Sounds like Belinda Carlisle had it right all along.

Whoa. Seriously, that makes me totally happier now. All that guilt about my size 17 carbon footprint and all those gallons of oil I dumped into that creek because I didn't want to pay the four dollars for proper disposal...gone! God has a plan for this smoggy planet after all, and it's all good things. And to think, all this time I've been buying recycled material and turning the water off as I brush my teeth when I could have just converted to a Jehovah's Witness!

Eat your heart out, Al Gore!

This is a place of worship, not logic!

I got into a theological debate with a friend who happened to be quite radical in his beliefs. He said he doesn't even believe in evolution a little bit and that he puts all his faith in the bible. He thinks Genesis tells exactly how it all began and that nothing existed before. When asked how he explained fossils of creatures that walked the planet millions of years before humans he smiled, as though I were a naive layman, and said "That's easy. God created the earth with fossils embedded in the soil to test our faith. I worship God, not science. I have faith and that's all I need."

What the hell do I say to that?

I've always been a supporter of the second amendment, yet I've never felt the need to own a firearm myself. I just don't think I'm important enough to want to kill, and statistically I have a better chance of getting attacked by a rabbid dog. But obviously, some people think they are going to need a sub-machine gun when they go out to check their mail. Why do these people feel their lives are in danger on a daily basis? Because of companies like this that employ people like this and make products like this.

To the drunk idiots- A Craislist poem-Chicago

People live in the apartments above and around the new (yuppie) bar.
Please shut the fuck up.
It's 2:00AM, I'm trying to sleep, and you really really suck right now. And so do the Rolling Stones.

Fuck You.

Lust and Kisses - a Craigslist poem-Fargo

Should have left the canyon that night.
Too buzzed on Tequila. lol
We eventually figured out how to completely destroy a unique gift.
Odd, since it's what we had always desired...as chldren and lost souls.
Be well.

Windy City

Roe V Wade, Islam, rock music, liberalism and now... pink Ouiji boards?
Of all the threatening societal barriers fundamental Christianity faces, I would think they have bigger fish to fry, but apparently not. In a recent article posted on foxnews.com, Stephen Phelan, communications director for Human Life International, one of the largest international pro-life organizations and missionaries in the world says "There's a spiritual reality to it and Hasbro is treating it as if it's just a game. It's not Monopoly. It really is a dangerous spiritual game and for [Hasbro] to treat it as just another game is quite dishonest."
You know, he's right. Hasbro should probably limit their pink Ouiji board sales to tween, voodoo practicing girls in Haiti. Or maybe in Uganda so we can weed out non-christians and imprison and kill them like they want to do to the gays.
While you're at it, why don't you speak out against pink magic eight balls, or pink rabbits' feet. Hell, how about this one?
Someone should tell the fundamental Christians if they're going to get all bent and wage a war on corporations capitalizing on Americans' radical, unfounded reliance on spirits and goblins, then they should start their beef with Genesis.

It's worse than I thought

DailyKos.com contracted the pollster Research 2000 to pull together a random survey of self-identified Republicans and test the prevalence of some of the stranger ideas floating around.

The answer, sadly, is that these ideas are very prevalent.