I'm naive. Until recently I assumed college students were either a) smart or, b) striving to become smarter. My beliefs were recently shattered when, sitting on a bench on my college campus, I heard two middle aged female students discussing the new reality show, "Living Lohan." They talked in excess of 20 minutes about the show, how "skanky" Lindsay and her sister were, and the intricate goings on of Hollywood. I smoked cigarette after cigarette in anticipation for the next round of worthless, yet entertaining conversation. I was in awe. I never knew there was twenty minutes worth of conversation to be had on this topic and the concept itself was alien to me.
I almost lost interest during a lull in conversation, when suddenly, the portly blonde spoke up and asked her friend who she would be voting for in the upcoming election. I froze and tried to predict her answer, yet nothing could prepare me for what spewed out of her crooked mouth.
"Oh, I don't pay attention to that stupid stuff." she said while gathering her books for her next class.
It dawned on me then, that we need to change politics. We need to get people like her involved, and I have the perfect solution.
America's Next Top President.
It's a reality show, in which all candidates from all parties (and I mean all parties, including Libertarian, Green, Socialist and yes, even Republican) live in the same house for the duration of the year preceeding the new presidency. There will be surprise knowledge tests, cleanliness tests, and physical fitness tests. Wives will be interviewed, (hell, lets put them together too) and so will children and friends. Every other week, America will vote and a candidate will be asked to leave. It's brilliant! All classes and age groups will understand each candidate and their political views without even having to pick up a newspaper or put down their bowl of funyuns. We can feed them all the knowledge they need to make an informed decision without taking away their Sudoku time. Who knows, maybe it will even be available on podcast.
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1 comment:
That's ingenious. I wonder who helped you come up with that????
But seriously, there needs to be challenges. Maybe introduce some interns without warning, and chain one to each candidate for a whole week, without the wives around of course. Film everything and without the candidates knowing, let the wives see the footage. Then watch the battles! See who has the toughest first lady. Hell, there's another great reality show: "Candidate Wants a First Lady" loosely based on "The Bachelor."
You know, I think we're on to something. Far more people vote for American Idol than for the American President. And surely the same group of people that helped pick quality entertainers such as Kelly Clarkson, Rueben Studdard, and Taylor Hicks are more than qualified to choose the next president.
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