My Town

Prayers

Some prayers from the book You Are Worthless. They made me laugh.


"Please, Easter Bunny, bring me plenty of eggs this year. And if you see Jesus, tell him we've been waiting for two thousand years for him to come back, and we're wondering if maybe he lost track of time."

"Dear God, your most visible representatives here on Earth are all a bunch of kooks. Sorry."

"Dear God, I understand that if I fail to believe in you, I'll burn in hell for all of eternity. Thanks for being such a good sport about it."

Yahoo! Answers question eleven

I've already cut down on my noise pollution. What else can I do to help the environment?


I love being green, and I have dedicated myself to preserving our planet by reducing my contribution to noise pollution. I have put foam pads on the inside of my Hummer doors to make them quieter when they close, I have put baffles on my jet skis, my motorcycles, my four-wheelers and every time one of the kids yell, I tell them they just added one inch to the giant hole in the ozone layer.
I am currently looking for some quieter lawn sprinklers (since we run them all summer) and we turn the t.v on mute and use the closed captions options instead. Is there anything else you could recommend to help reduce our impact on global warming? Any suggestions are appreciated.

Antony and the Johnsons - Music Review

If you mixed Boy George, Elton John, the emotional crescendos of the worst Lifetime movies ever, a splash of orchestra, extreme vibrato and a whole lot of androgyny, you might come close to mimicking the tearful yet high-voltage sound of Antony and the Johnsons. While abrasive at first, Antony finds a way to pound into your frontal lobe and leave you laughing at the ridiculousness of his lyrics while humming the addictive chorus over and over.
His appearance is odd and alien to his own culture, but not unnerving. And when he sings, the spectator soon forgets Antony is wearing a shimmering, space nightgown, and falls into the trance of the peaks and valleys of his quivering vocals.
Maybe it's the carnal effect powerful orchestral sounds have on the emotions, or maybe its the feeling Antony puts into his performance, but I like to think it's his lack of shame, even pride, for who he is and what he represents. And rightly so, for what he does is truly amazing.

One of my favorite parts of one of my favorite movies.

Its funny 'cause it's true.

By the way, for those who don't know it already, I am a certified nutritionist. No, really.

Anagram Stretch

A 0.8-mile stretch of northbound Interstate 287 in New Jersey contains these signs:

WASHINGTON'S HEADQUARTERS
NO TRUCKS IN LEFT LANE
LAFAYETTE AVE.
EXIT 20 MPH
BRIDGE FREEZES BEFORE ROAD SURFACE
INTERSTATE NEW JERSEY 287

To date this is the shortest reported stretch of U.S. highway whose permanent, official signs contain all 26 letters of the alphabet.

The Overly Enthusiastic Cat Lover Answer

I had no part in this question or answer. There is really someone out there who loves their cat THIS MUCH.

Q- i'm thinking of getting a cat, either a manx or a ragdoll.
what are the basic things you need to take care of a cat?
is there a bad side of getting a cat?
a good side?
also, what are the average prices of both cat breeds i'm interested in if i'm going to a breeder/pound?

plz add as much as you know about cat care in ur reply ;D


**** YEAH CATS ARE ******* COOL AS **** THEY ARE CUTE AND DAMN CUDDLY **** THEY ONLY NEED FOOD WATER TOYS AND CARE MOTHERFUCKER CATS ARE DAMN AWESOME.
Source(s):
MY OWN COOL *** CAT

Yahoo! Answers question Ten

I found this question on Yahoo! answers and couldn't resist.

I'm pregnant and I have never had sex.?
That's right just went to the doctor who confirmed it. I am 15 almost 16 and never in my life have I had sexual intercourse. But here I am 6 week pregnant! could someone PLEASE EXPLAIN this to me. Cause the doc sure couldn't!!!!



My Answer- Actually, there is a very, very rare medical condition called Burgenhoffer's disease where you don't actually have to be involved in any type of sexual activity in order to get pregnant. Here's how it happens.
When you are born, you have a certain amount of eggs in your ovaries waiting for you to hit puberty so you can start dropping. As you mature, your body releases chemicals, triggering their release. If you have Bergenhoffer's disease, your Y chromosomes have one peptide too many and when your glands start producing estrogen it is chemically imbalanced and causes your body to hoard your eggs instead of dropping them. The extra peptide causes a very volatile concoction in your reproductive organs that, in most cases, causes all eggs to die. But some scientists believe if your eggs survive, they will adapt to their hardships and start developing off of the DNA of the Y chromosomes only. This would trigger the development of the egg into an embryo without the use of sperm, therefore creating a sex free pregnancy.


Actually, I made all of that up. You have to have sex to get pregnant.