ENLARGE AND READ

Yahoo! Answers questions - Six

(Another reminder to my readers, these questions were manufactured by me to get a radical response from the Yahoo Answers community. They in no way represent my personal opinions. So don't freak out and call me, Mom!)

Sir, did you order the breast milk?

I had a rough day at work yesterday so I decided to spoil myself a little and go out to eat at a fancy steak house. The waitress sat me at a small table around a corner where I could enjoy my meal in peace. I could only see one other table from where I sat, which was good because I hate watching other people eat.
I ordered my food and started quietly reading the paper. Suddenly, from around the corner came a family of five,to sit in the only table in the whole restaurant that I could see. Sitting down directly in my line of sight was a woman with a screaming new born baby. She quickly sat down, set her purse on the floor and pulled her plump, veiny breast out and popped it in her kid's mouth!!!
"OH MY SWEET VISHNU!" I yelled. The whole family turned and looked at me, including the newborn with a nipple down his throat and yellow colostrum rolling down his cheek. "CANT YOU COVER THAT UP!?" I screamed. She was extremely offended and got all self conscious and started crying. Did I do the wrong thing? Should I not be offended by this? Is it that hard to cover up those rascals when feeding? They make pumps for a reason.

Best Answer #1- You are a sad, pathetic, lonely person. Do you really feel the need to have the world bend to your daily neurotic twists? Grow up.

Best Answer #2- American women take their freedoms for granted. In many places in the middle east, they can't even show their faces in public. You'd think girls here'd be happy about flashing their whorish little ankles around, but now they want to expose their breasts?

Just the other day, I went to my favorite bar to enjoy a beer, and the girl on the stage kept dancing and flashing her cervix at me.

It's simply disgusting.

For all the O'Reilly Fans

I just found this beautiful clip, thought I'd share. Thanks Kimba.

NO MORE!

The GOP is finally dead.
Let’s lift our hands in praise
and set our minds on future times
filled with better days.

They tried to tear this country down
with God and fear and war,
but on this day we make a stand
and boldly say “NO MORE!”

“No More!” to secret agencies
infringing on our rights.
“No More!” to Texas oil men
picking global fights.

“No More!” to aristocracy
dining off our dime.
“No More!” to intel cover-ups
and blatant Wall Street crime.

“No More!” to bible politics
and Evangelic rule.
“No More!” No Child Left Behind
and underfunded schools.

So stand with us and say “No More!”
to Bush and all the rest,
and let’s lead Lady Liberty
to the bright and shining left.

Process of Elimination

The following conversation took place on November 4th, 2008.

Matt (while walking through my front door)- Well, it's done.

Patrick- What's done?

M - I voted.

P - Sweet. Were the lines long?

M - No. It went pretty smoothly.

P - Nice.

M - I voted for myself.

P - What?

M - I voted for myself.

P - You mean you wrote your name in?

M - Yeah.

P - Why?

M - Why not? I wasn't about to vote for any of those assholes.

Obama '08

Do you love your country? Do you wish you had more money? Do you dislike people who have more money than you? Do you want some of their money? Do you feel guilty for suppressing the African American population for hundreds of years? Do you want hope? Do you want change? Do you hope for change?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, Barack Obama is your man. As a community organizer Barack gave hope to thousands by giving some extremely motivational speeches. As a U.S. senator, Barack gave even more inspirational speeches to other politicians and Illinois citizens. With his perfect balance of eloquent speech and body language, Obama has the capability of changing the way Americans feel about the government, and who wouldn't want to feel better about the government? Let's get back to the days of true American pride, when a president could actually pronounce words correctly and present himself as a capable leader. Let's get back to loving America once again.
Vote for inspiration. Vote for hope. Hope for inspiration. Inspire for change. Change the vote. Vote for Obama.

(Paid for by Obama '08)

McCain '08

Do you hate your country? Do you enjoy being attacked by radical, extremist, Muslim terrorist groups driven by hate and jealousy for free democratic nations such as America? Do you hate servicemen who have sacrificed, even died, for the ideals Americans hold so dear? Do you want gays and atheists to take over the world?

If you answered no to any of the above questions, John McCain is your man. John believes in America and its people so much, he sacrificed seven years of his life in a dark, cold, vile Vietnamese prison cell. He's got the scars to prove it. As a senator, John dedicated his life to taking on his own party as a true maverick in Washington. He's got the scars to prove that, too. Let's cut to the chase. John McCain has a lot of scars. He loves his country and its military might and he has scars.

So when you hold that ballot in your hand on Tuesday, think about those scars. Scars on his back, scars on his legs, scars on his shoulders...scars everywhere. Scars, scars, scars.
Plus his middle name isn't Hussein.

(Paid for by John McCain 2008)