I try to avoid Piggly Wiggly as much as possible. The prices aren't any lower, and unless you're looking for pickled pigs' feet or cow pancreas, they don't have anything Food Lion doesn't. It smells like a basement and the floors are polished eight times a day to give it that sterile, capitol hill feel. However, Piggly Wiggly is always good for one thing. Great eavesdropping. For some reason (I'll spare you my personal opinion) the dedicated Piggly Wiggly shoppers seem to have a few less teeth, a few more stains on their tank tops, and mustaches. Lord, I hate mustaches.
Yesterday I was perusing the aisles for some emergency lemon jell-o, when I overheard two men talking politics. It was rather one-sided, with the older, grey haired man rambling on about how it don't matter if that Paladin lady was a mayor or whatever, she stands up for what I believe in and after all that Hussein Obama fella' swore in on a Muslim bible or whatever they call it and I aint votin' for some closet Muslim.
First I laughed (inside of course, he weighed a hundred pounds more than me). Then I got downright angry. I realized it is the ignorant voter that will ruin this election. It's the close-mindedness which will drag this country down even further into the cesspool of debt and recession. It will be people like this guy. I believe the above scenario will weed out a lot of stupid voters and save this country.
Think about it. They only get to choose one option.
"Martha! Don't forget, tonight's the free lottery ticket night. Member, jest like they did it a a few years ago? I think it's down at the middle school gymnasium where all the people vote and stuff. We'll take the Ford!"
"Which one? the F-150 or the Ranger?"
"The one with the Piggly Wiggly stickers on the back. I can feel it! We're gonna win big!!!"